I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize