she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
