just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
