It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize