i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
soo... how was my night?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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