So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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