In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
