He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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