I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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