i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
