Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
