I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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