dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize