She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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