I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
