Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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