Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
