i think i have herpe
just one?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm too high and old for this...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize