Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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