i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
