Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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