We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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