It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
