I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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