Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
