I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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