just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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