Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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