24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
