You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
