six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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