She's JV to your varsity
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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