Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
