You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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