btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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