i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
