did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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