Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm just crazy horny about you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
