I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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