I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
