Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
