Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
