Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
