Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
