You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
