When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We are two peas in an std pod
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
