nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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