in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
