my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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