My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
