I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I need a beard to bite.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
