i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
