Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
