Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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