I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
