Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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