he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
