You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
40s are totally the cure
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
