Don't you send me to vm
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize