is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The uberlube is also flammable
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
