Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
