My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
