Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
