Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
