He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
