she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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