just come out here and I will go home with you...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
