I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize